insomia

it's 4.23am 14th Jan 2010.
still wide awake at this wiiwang wang hour.
am tired;but not able to sleep.
possibly due to the increased age,
body can no longer tolerate with that small amount of caffeine.
i only had a glass of Teh-ais. thought it's nothing.

or was it because i read a friend's blog,
and was not able to get over it?
but i'm glad that she had finally overcome the hard feeling,
facing the obstacles alone far from hometown is terrible.
i'd not experience any of it,
but sincerely, i could feel what she was feeling from her blog.

frankly, i wasn't close to her during primary & secondary.
but i was amazed by her decision,
putting down the pride and head for her dream.
i was totally surprised by her move.
and she is now, realizing her dream,
while i'm still here,
looking at the stars, hoping they are the same on the other end of the horizon.

should i just step out of the box?
am i able to be that independent?
i cant even answer those questions myself.
pathetic.

it's a dream of mine, going to UK & europe at least once in my life time.
don't ask me why there?
am planning to go there after my graduation, at around june/july/aug this year.
but i don't even have any plan yet.
i don't know whose able to host me when i'm in UK *only for a few days*
i don't know whose wanna go to the Europe tour with me.
all the uncertainties.
just hate it.

how i wish i can just sign up for a 1 year course there.
so i can earn my own pocket money and travel to places i want myself,
without begging people to accommodate me/ bringing me around.
really hating the feeling..


*all the mid night thoughts ==> emo big time*

2010

*mr. Rayner. he's just too cute isn't it?*

a new year supposed to have a new beginning.
i think most of you started this year with new resolutions,
hoping to get rid of the bad and to welcome the good.

i think i'm not that lucky,
as in..
although i spent my new year moments with some beloved friends
bloating ourselves with ikan bakar + seafood
drinking icy cold milk tea at old town
while coughing my lungs out.
my bad i think,
i started this whole new 2010 with
a little frustration
some complications
reluctant
disappointment
and
don't feel like doing anything syndrome.

some told me,
the first half of 2010 isn't really a cup of tea for me
lots of obstacles
bumpy roads
but i'll overcome them
and i'll be enjoying on the 2nd half of 2010.

p.s: i'm having my last semester on the 1st half;
graduating on the 2nd half.
it's kinda true right?

hurmph..
wondering if my europe tour dream will come true.

p.s.s: who wanna go Uk with me? or whose willing to host me?? sigh..

1st day of sem 8

1st day of school is already killing me.
result was out. it was beyond expectation. no complain on it.
paid my final semester's fees. good.
knew my internal and external examiner for my research project.
oh ya, i got the 签王 (king of the lots??).
i hope she won't be too harsh on me. i hope i can still leave the room in one piece during viva.
not good.
research presentation on 13th jan & viva on 20th jan. not good.
He said we're getting lazier during the holiday. true. horrible.
left my lovely blanket at home. no blanket for a whole week. terrible.
i still have 2.25 of Twilight left. wondering where to slot in the time to finish them.
losing confident approaching the end of Bpharm. sucks.
*shaking head*

1st day of class,
and i was jeopardized with tonnes of complications.
hold on.
i will sail through smoothly.
i guess.

whispering...
*please, i only need to maintain my cGPA, don't be too harsh on me, only a B+ will do*



who is there to overdose me with happiness??