frankly speaking, i was disappointed when i know, for you, traveling is not your cup of tea.
you think that, spending money going to uk/europe now, is a waste of money. after all, what do i get in return when i'm back?
from the bottom of my heart, traveling around the world is my all time favorite activity. i get to see the culture difference, broader my thinking horizon as well as letting go the negative aura; receiving the positive energy. i love to have memories. i love to remind myself how lucky i am to have such a chance to travel oversea even though i'm not working yet.
may be you don't understand why do i want to go to uk desperately *ok, not desperately, just want to go there very very much*. i seriously can't blame you because you're just a stranger to me back then. it's a reward & a substitution trip to me as in i didn't get to study oversea. you can call it a compensation of that from my family. saving a few hundreds thousands and only spending me a 10k to go to a UK trip. i don't see a problem with it, at least.
the gene of traveling is running in my family's blood. we always go traveling once we have the time and the money because we don't see and feel that the material satisfaction is greater than traveling. we tried more things and we think that it worth our every ringgit and every cent. i don't blame you for not agreeing on my point of view. this is really subjective and i can't force everybody to have the same mind set as me.
according to calvin.L, may be this has already exceeded your traveling budget limit. i think it is. i know you must be thinking, siao ar this girl, spend so much to go to a trip!! but do you know that, once in my life time, i want to see the pyramid with my own eyes, feel the breeze of niagara falls? i want to see the 7 wonders of the world. i want to feel how great and how magnificent they are. it is useless to keep staying in your own place. you will never improve. *ok, provided i have the money-lah*
after all, everybody have different interest. i can't force you to come with me if you think it's not worth it; just like you can't force someone to like automobile if he thinks that's just pieces of shit steel..
so, i'm not angry, i'm not upset.
sorry, i'm just rumbling..after all, it's my blog title mah right? rolling stone, rumbling sound..
i hate to be controlled. i hate to not able to stick to my plan. i hate lots of things.
this is me.
after so many years of living here, i'm yearning to go to a total new place. where i can do what i want, and act how i want to.
my life is so vague. and i hate it. i hate to comfort myself, to think that the events that i missed were just pieces of shit!
i'm trying hard, very hard, not to get my brain turning, not to get my negative thoughts kept spinning..
even though i'd been in this situation for 20years, giving lectures to my sis, yet i need to pad on my own back, and tell myself "what to do, it's your family income, just bear with it." i'm not sure how long can i take it anymore. i'm tired of it.
i'm sick that when everybody is out for party and celebration, i need to stay back. i'm disgusted when couples get to celebrate their valentine, christmas together, while i need to either postpone them or have them earlier. i hate that when i have tonnes of duedates, yet i need to put them aside or rush myself to hell and help in the business.
i can't wait to graduate sometimes, just to escape from all these. i want to be just myself.
sigh, i should be happy, but i just cant. i don't know why. it's a happy event, i should not keep it as a secret right? but i'm not sure whether i can tell or not? but why not? you must be wondering why? what?
ya, my research paper got accepted into a prestige conference. but, i'm not happy at all. too many things going on already. designing the poster, the credits and things. i'm confused.
is he really using our data. probably not mine i think. since i need not photocopy my data and hand them to him. ya, we did achieved what we want from the beginning, to get accepted into the conference. but, friend had raised up another issue, everything was under his name. so, it's his or mine? i'm confused. sigh, it's too complicated. all questions must not be asked and shall be swallowed down the throat. full of doubts.
guess right now the best thing to do is to done with whatever is requested. i don't want to regret when i graduated. it's good for him, and it's good for my CV as well. at least i can put it in..I THINK.
