AUGUST 2011

it was a year ago,

when all of us joined the working life,

one by one,

as Pharmacists in GHM.

we went through highs and downs together.

we smile through the smelliest shit,

having second, third, forth rounds of dinner and hang outs,

and still reluctant to go back home.

damage our livers on the so call Friday night.

remember the BBQ session at my brother's place?

remember the amount of salad they made? hee..

our never ending chit chat sessions,

lame jokes, loud acts, all the makan adventures.

not to forget the cameron trip.

the night where we all stood at the Hotel's lobby,

no place to sleep.

eating strawberry popsicles like little kids.

......................................................

goodbye seems to be the hardest word to say.

this is gonna be an emotional month.

i just wanna say:

take care friends.

you all are more than just colleagues to me.

i heart you guys.

will definitely miss you.

hugs.

freedom

unsure whether staying back in hometown for work is a correct/wise decision.

hometown + no car + no internet access at home = no freedom x3

rotting..

every morning, i wake up with an empty feeling.
aimless and dunno what to do.

so, it's the post syndrome of graduating.

although i might seem busy with my travel marathon,
the loneliness still accelerate and build up intensely especially when i'm back from one place.

guess i'm not used to the long holiday.

it's June already and i'm back from Chiang Mai a week already.
due to the lack of internet connection at home,
i got lazier to screen through those nearly 1000 pictures i took in Chiang Mai,
without screening, it had further delayed my mood to blog about it.
so Melissa, just bare with me for awhile ya, hahahahahaha...

and, now i realized how much commitment both parties have to put in when u're in a long distance relationship. thanks for everything Pinky, i miss you, xoxo!

night of thousand stars

it was back in 2006 when i started my year 1 in CUCMS,
without really knowing what is Pharmacy,
how tough it is?

and now,
it's 2010 and i'm graduating real soon.
in 2 weeks time to be exact.

9th April 2010
it's a night we shall remember.

it's our Pre-graduation Dinner,
organized by year 2 students,
at IOI palm garden hotel.

*this is a really long post with tonnes of pictures, BEWARE!*







name list of graduating batch.
can you see my name??

i had forgotten to take a pic of our door gift.
the door gift was great!
and i totally love the tapioca chips!!

opening speech by prof shah,
dean of faculty of pharmacy CUCMS

while waiting for the dinner to start..
what else can we do except going around and camwhore!!

since the theme was actually masquerade,
we did borrowed some just for photo-taking.

we're just too lazy to get ourselves one because there's this rules:
we can only put on our mask when the VIPs are not around,
means u can use it before and after the dinner.
hurmph, weird rules.

the program started at 8pm and we can only enjoy our dinner at 9pm.
we were actually dead hungry..
looking at the stainless steel food container in the middle of the table.
drooling lor..our saliva..

finally after the lame magic performance,
we're able to eat.

at last~



so it's the usual malay style dinner.
i seriously think that the portion is so small.
definitely not enough for 10 eaters.
and it is God damn expensive!!

but i remember the squid and beef was good!

after eating, it was award presentation.
- student leadership award
- student valedictorian award

congratulations to syapiq and marlyna!!

then it was our performance.



can't believe that we're the ONLY batch that is doing performance for the consequently 3 years.
1st year, we had some simple dinner at Restoran Nelayan with seniors and lecturers;
2nd year, we did a drama, live drama..not pre-recorded one;
3rd year, we did some choir, which i think we did an awesome job;
and we're expecting to enjoy and relax during our Pre-grad dinner,
but ended up we were requested to do another/Last performace..
so..
4th year, we started the performance with a sajak by me, maya & ajeet, spirit of 1 malaysia, along with the slide show prepared by intan; sang a song "kenangan terindah by Samson", giving out flowers to the lecturers and wrapped the whole thing up with some really touching speech by mr ajeet.

what more to add?
it was an nostalgic feel when the curtain opened and we started singing the chorus.
"bila yang tertulis untuk ku,
adalah yang terbaik untuk mu,
kan ku jadikan kau kenangan yang terindah dalam hidupku...."
although it's a love song, but it just matched our feeling perfectly at that point of time.

frankly, i enjoyed it alot!!
with the super tight schedule we had in our final sem,
even we ourselves hardly see each other in the uni due to different attachments in different hospital,
we still managed to squeeze out one night,
u read me right, JUST ONE NIGHT of practice for this performance.

hugs, people!

love this pic alot.
ain, my housemate/ clinical groupmate/ mentor-mentee mate.
*hugs*

congratulation to our class rep
Mr. Muhammad Shapiq
for winning the BEST LEADERSHIP AWARD

*i voted for him too..xD*



*love you guys*






a big thanks to organizing committees,
you guys had done a great job,
despite the abit lame magician show..
the video presentation was really funny..

gonna miss CUCMS alot
missing the profs, lecturers, especially our dearest Dean!
and of course my bunch of great mates.

may all of us sail through our life smoothly,
overcome all obstacles,
have great achievements,
and cherish our friendship forever!
kau kenangan terindah~

XOXO

so i died

7 more weeks,
7 more weeks to finish my degree.
things are getting more and more complicated.
i realized i'm not well equip yet.
seriously depress.
but depress ain't bringing me anywhere.

sad.disappointment.

i think i'm gonna be a very lousy pharmacist in the future.
should just get a rich husband so people out there are safe.

what is wrong with me.
FML.

it's the weather's fault

is afraid of things.
afraid of failing..
afraid of falling..
is getting moody.

i'm sorry if i ever hurt you.

it's the weather i guess.

as well as the stress.

but i'm glad that there are still people
who listen to me,
talk to me,
willing to comfort me.
simple hugging and patting is enough.

they put some smiles on my face.
thank you.

*hugs and love ya!*

7 weeks more to end my degree life.
chuak!

viva attack

when are we meeting again??


just had my viva today.
others were quite satisfied with theirs,
but i'm not.

i'm not being skeptical or what,
but things just didn't turned out well.

supervisor had mentioned,
minor corrections include grammar mistakes, format..etc..
while major corrections include insufficient content, wrong methodology..etc..


i'm stucked between both,
and i don't know i'm skewed to the minor or to the major.

of course,
format of references and some spacing general problems
+
they think my results were too general..
they can be break down into more specific & detail..
=
alot, ALOT of alterations need to be done,
in TWO weeks time.


i'm doomed!

where's my twilight??

insomia

it's 4.23am 14th Jan 2010.
still wide awake at this wiiwang wang hour.
am tired;but not able to sleep.
possibly due to the increased age,
body can no longer tolerate with that small amount of caffeine.
i only had a glass of Teh-ais. thought it's nothing.

or was it because i read a friend's blog,
and was not able to get over it?
but i'm glad that she had finally overcome the hard feeling,
facing the obstacles alone far from hometown is terrible.
i'd not experience any of it,
but sincerely, i could feel what she was feeling from her blog.

frankly, i wasn't close to her during primary & secondary.
but i was amazed by her decision,
putting down the pride and head for her dream.
i was totally surprised by her move.
and she is now, realizing her dream,
while i'm still here,
looking at the stars, hoping they are the same on the other end of the horizon.

should i just step out of the box?
am i able to be that independent?
i cant even answer those questions myself.
pathetic.

it's a dream of mine, going to UK & europe at least once in my life time.
don't ask me why there?
am planning to go there after my graduation, at around june/july/aug this year.
but i don't even have any plan yet.
i don't know whose able to host me when i'm in UK *only for a few days*
i don't know whose wanna go to the Europe tour with me.
all the uncertainties.
just hate it.

how i wish i can just sign up for a 1 year course there.
so i can earn my own pocket money and travel to places i want myself,
without begging people to accommodate me/ bringing me around.
really hating the feeling..


*all the mid night thoughts ==> emo big time*

after all..

frankly speaking, i was disappointed when i know, for you, traveling is not your cup of tea.

you think that, spending money going to uk/europe now, is a waste of money. after all, what do i get in return when i'm back?

from the bottom of my heart, traveling around the world is my all time favorite activity. i get to see the culture difference, broader my thinking horizon as well as letting go the negative aura; receiving the positive energy. i love to have memories. i love to remind myself how lucky i am to have such a chance to travel oversea even though i'm not working yet.

may be you don't understand why do i want to go to uk desperately *ok, not desperately, just want to go there very very much*. i seriously can't blame you because you're just a stranger to me back then. it's a reward & a substitution trip to me as in i didn't get to study oversea. you can call it a compensation of that from my family. saving a few hundreds thousands and only spending me a 10k to go to a UK trip. i don't see a problem with it, at least.

the gene of traveling is running in my family's blood. we always go traveling once we have the time and the money because we don't see and feel that the material satisfaction is greater than traveling. we tried more things and we think that it worth our every ringgit and every cent. i don't blame you for not agreeing on my point of view. this is really subjective and i can't force everybody to have the same mind set as me.

according to calvin.L, may be this has already exceeded your traveling budget limit. i think it is. i know you must be thinking, siao ar this girl, spend so much to go to a trip!!
but do you know that, once in my life time, i want to see the pyramid with my own eyes, feel the breeze of niagara falls? i want to see the 7 wonders of the world. i want to feel how great and how magnificent they are. it is useless to keep staying in your own place. you will never improve. *ok, provided i have the money-lah*

after all, everybody have different interest. i can't force you to come with me if you think it's not worth it; just like you can't force someone to like automobile if he thinks that's just pieces of shit steel..

so, i'm not angry, i'm not upset.


sorry, i'm just rumbling..after all, it's my blog title mah right?
rolling stone, rumbling sound..

i rumble all the time >.<

untitled.

i hate to be controlled.
i hate to not able to stick to my plan.
i hate lots of things.

this is me.

after so many years of living here,
i'm yearning to go to a total new place.
where i can do what i want, and act how i want to.

my life is so vague. and i hate it.
i hate to comfort myself, to think that the events that i missed were just pieces of shit!

i'm trying hard, very hard, not to get my brain turning, not to get my negative thoughts kept spinning..

even though i'd been in this situation for 20years, giving lectures to my sis, yet i need to pad on my own back, and tell myself "what to do, it's your family income, just bear with it."
i'm not sure how long can i take it anymore. i'm tired of it.

i'm sick that when everybody is out for party and celebration, i need to stay back.
i'm disgusted when couples get to celebrate their valentine, christmas together, while i need to either postpone them or have them earlier.
i hate that when i have tonnes of duedates, yet i need to put them aside or rush myself to hell and help in the business.

i can't wait to graduate sometimes, just to escape from all these.
i want to be just myself.

emo-ing




why do we need money to live?

.......

trip cancelled.

.emo.

not going to s'pore

somebody don't like

no merlion

no sentosa siloso beach

flower!

will not want to go anywhere during that time

the end