untitled.

i hate to be controlled.
i hate to not able to stick to my plan.
i hate lots of things.

this is me.

after so many years of living here,
i'm yearning to go to a total new place.
where i can do what i want, and act how i want to.

my life is so vague. and i hate it.
i hate to comfort myself, to think that the events that i missed were just pieces of shit!

i'm trying hard, very hard, not to get my brain turning, not to get my negative thoughts kept spinning..

even though i'd been in this situation for 20years, giving lectures to my sis, yet i need to pad on my own back, and tell myself "what to do, it's your family income, just bear with it."
i'm not sure how long can i take it anymore. i'm tired of it.

i'm sick that when everybody is out for party and celebration, i need to stay back.
i'm disgusted when couples get to celebrate their valentine, christmas together, while i need to either postpone them or have them earlier.
i hate that when i have tonnes of duedates, yet i need to put them aside or rush myself to hell and help in the business.

i can't wait to graduate sometimes, just to escape from all these.
i want to be just myself.

emo-ing




why do we need money to live?

.......